Sometimes I am wondering, what producers of the afternoon program think what they are about to sell…
Besides the daily soaps, which are soooooooo “real” they try to find a good way to talk to ladies: they made the street test! Fat vs. ugly…
They took a nice girl, making her wear a fat suit and try to pick up boys phone numbers…then they took her in her slim body and made her ugly in the face with fatty hair…who won? the fat girl with beautiful face..and then they said: “girls dont be so harsh to your little rolls, boys love a beauty face more than a figure. What they didnt mention: good shaped girls with good looking face…*ha of course boys would prefer this one to any of the others. So what do we learn out of this trial? – of course! it doesnt matter if you are fat or ugly, ur unattractive both ways. :O
So now what to do? Just think: SCREW YOU! You are beautiful the way you are! even with more gold on your hips, ass or elsewhere. If you think you have to much, you can do some sports and eat healthy and you may lose a bit, but never forget you are the person who you are. People like you because of that! Beautiful doesnt mean she is smart, bigger doesnt mean she is ugly. You are you, and this is beautiful. Tell it to you in the mirror. Yell at the TV: Srew you! -They just know how to make us feel bad! Stop thinking, start living! Feel happy 😀
Can you imaaaaagine? I have done sports two days in a row and now … BAAAAAAM.
I couldn’t even get out of my clothes without pain. On day 2 I needed to roll out of my bed cause everything hurt! Every step – NO!EVERY MOVEMENT was a punishment @.@ but one funny thing: in the supermarket, i did not even thought about buying chocolate, cause it was in the upper shelf *hahaha
anyway in another drugstor it was on hip level *moahaaaaaa I bought easter chocolate and put the bunny in my kitchen shelf…there it is waiting for eastern *hehehehe it is watching me, and i am watching it! It even prepared the chocolate eggs for me ❤ If I will get him a girlfiend, does it mean I get small little chocolate bunnies?
Something else stupid happened to me? I stopped counting.
I start giving myself rules for eating: morning breakfast: push ups, lunch: sit ups, dinner: nothing, cause I will do more exercises in combination 😉 when ever I wana have a snack, I do work for my arms. It start working ^^ It is hard to keep up, I need to force myself, but it is fine! Only thing is: it will look stupid doing it at work, so I need to think about another option…maybe jumping to lunch time? *haha
Guys my papers are putting me into jail…I am just sitting in front of my PC doing nothing else than writing!
And today I feel good! Not only because I bought awesome and super cheap shoes, also because I had healthy food today! Cereals, salad and some noodles and salaaaad again! For sweets I had a chewing gum and chewing candy. yup. Ha. I am sooo good!
From tomorrow I am allowed to begin softly with sports again! I really need some movements! Even more if I think about the talks to Mr. Scale. He is so horrible! I guess because of my medicine and low movement I gained. This is sooo freaky! But I keep fighting *muahaa
I keep going eating good for breakfast, lunch I eat normal and take care to stop when I am full. and dinner as I said salad 🙂 for sweet things *hmmmm what to do a bout that? I eat them *hehehe but not to much – BUT I need MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!! It is not enough. Beeing chocoholic is hard. really hard. Why I am sooooooo addicted?
But anyway it is kinda good that I preferred shoes than chocolate…just imagine I would have bought tons of chocolate *haha just imagine me with a big bag full of CHOCOLATE. this would be the time to go crazy! XD
What’s new? I am going crazy! Lately I need to write my papers by heart and I am dying for chocolate! Seriously I can write just with chocolate and sugar. Since I am not allowed to eat, I am producing just f*** bad stuff and I am not productive as I should be…Do you got any hints for me what to do?
I got a serious problem!
Besides that, I guess everybody know the problem feeling of liking someone…bad in times of a lack of chocolate if this feeling is connected to bad ones…I need ice cream and chocolate and cookies and all gooood stuff!!! Not eating it even drives my mood worse. I need help @.@ What to do?
I dont even have funny stories to share despite I am just sneaking around the box of cookies in the kitchen while trying to write something what at least sounds ok…
I am having a crisis. I am open for everything to share from you! Thank you 🙂
I didn’t gave up – no way! I don’t give myself the blame – you thought so? Shame on you! 😀
I was working on a fair for one week and at the end I became sick, really sick! I am still not well again, but better. Anyway I stayed resistant! Yeah SUCESS! But what about my old enemy Mr.Scale? He was just a bit nice to me, but we are still fighting if we see each other…However, I count my success in the -now more respected way- healthy living. It is easier not to become weak and eat chocolate and to prefer salad than pizza. I am happy about that! Now even that the sun came out I feel quite better. I got a competitive feeling towards myself. Lets fight the scale, but stay in good condition! No stupid hunger cause it makes it even worse!
So what about now? I will keep on fighting aaaand posting! and feeling the chocolate I want to eat -.- It will be eastern in 3 weeks and everywhere you can have this wonderful tasty easter chocolate…Let’s pray my brain stays resistant (Last week I had my first chocolate dream @.@)
We sit at work, of course working. Suddenly-good smell. sweet smell. it becomes more and more intense. first vanilla, then like popcorn, then like sweet milk, after that like pudding then cinnamon…omg it was not only me in the office trying to figure out what it was. nobody knew…but EVERYBODY wanted to HAVE it!!!! All my collegues – including me – had been suffering to hell. Everybody wanted to have it!
Some time later we found out: it was Pudding with cinnamon and bananas! who had been the evil in person to heat it in the kitchen and leaving without sharing??? must have been the even more mean devil grand father…but luckily it was not only me wishing to have an audience and get something from him 😀
As I told you, I wanted to buy some sweets today – luckily no money *haha (<– laughing at myself)
Today I also made sports unwillingly: I bought some stuff. Went up stairs to my apartment. then I heard *pam pam pam pam pam pam* in a good timed rythm. damn it. it had been a cane rolling or better falling or drumming down the stairs ALL WAY BACK DOWN TO THE FLOOR…stair by stair by stair. Of course I needed to get it or just leave it for my neighbours – but this would be last option I guess *sigh So I needed to get it and just tried to think positive “You will train your butt”. So whenever I need to take a long walk of stairs, this is actually the thinking that keeps me motivated – a nice ass. I hope next time my stuff won’t start to fly around because I should train my arms or something like that…Any other ideas?
Today was, despite the things mentioned, a success, so I am really curious what’s up for tomorrow!
We went out tonight so I actually fall out of bed this morning (since we don’t have beds at the moment, just having my mattress on the ground..) and walked myself to work. Since it was good weather and sun was shining I felt good, but – yeah “BUT” – work was loooong today. Unplanned. After a bit after lunch I felt like my energy level is falling under the scale of feeling alive. I wonder if the devil had a nice talk to my energy in hell… Seriously I needed input, but I haven’t had any…
I guess you know the feeling if you want to have something soooo badly, but your not allowed to have? It is like the situation with the forbidden sign: “Don’t touch” is stated. What are you doing? YOU TOUCH! Even if it would be a shark biting your whole arm…you WOULD think about touching, right? If it is not thaaaat dangerous, you touch. For sure. Who ever says something different is a lier! You know this situation, so you know my condition…I need SUGAR. But I did’t had any at work. I managed somehow 😉 but going home was more like a zombie walk.
I fell into bed and slept – best way to overcome your sugar longings…After woke up, I forced myself to have some salad and do some sports, just some exercises. I feel like if I do more now, I won’t be able to get up again tomorrow, and this is not what I want…
Tomorrow I need to go to work again – unplanned, but it has to be. Still I like it. However it is freaking horrific, if you know you don’t have much time left to catch the deadlines for your papers…without energy even worse! – CHOCOLATE!!!! definitely needed, luckily my mind keeps me from it…I guess tomorrow I will not only shop for the green stuff which keeps you healthy (at least everybody says so), but also some sweets I am allowed to eat! Otherwise I gonna shrink to a creepy low energy jelly fish…
For today, I am finished, my mind is not able to think directly in “paper lines”. My bed is calling – can you hear it?